Pull up a chair for a minute. Let’s talk like we would over a cuppa, because this one gets under the skin. Theodore Roosevelt said, comparison is the thief of joy. You feel it on those days when you are halfway through your to‑do list, your tea has gone cold, and your thumb is on autopilot, scrolling past someone else’s win parade. New team photo. Sold out launch. Champagne emojis everywhere. Meanwhile you are reheating the same cuppa and wondering if you are even on the right track.
Here is the truth you can hold on to — pinky promise, no Instagram filter required. What you see online is the tip of the iceberg. What you do not see are the rough drafts, the no’s, the budget blowouts, the late nights, the help behind the scenes, and the detours that never made the grid. You cannot control their path. You can control yours. Today is about bringing your focus back to what you can do next, in your business, with your life.
The illusion of perfection
Say this with me, highlight reels are not the whole story. On socials and in glossy press, it looks like every business is kicking goals. What is hidden are the rejections, the tech hiccups, the quiet launches, the refunds they never mention, and the plain old slog it takes to move even a little. That “overnight success” probably took five years, three pivots and a spreadsheet with more tabs than the Bunnings paint aisle.
Let’s make it real: imagine you see a coach announce a 50 seat workshop that “sold out in two days.” What you did not see were the six months of audience building, the email list clean up, the test run with ten people, the partnership with a venue, and the three quiet launches that came first. Nothing about that is luck. It is reps.
Your move today:
- Mute two or three accounts that spike comparison for a week. You can unmute later. Promise. They will cope without you for seven days.
- Write five things you are doing well right now. Put the list somewhere you actually look, like the kettle or the biscuit tin.
- Ask, what can I control before lunch, then book one specific action. Send one outreach email. Draft the opening of your sales page. Pitch one podcast.
Why this helps: when you remember the full picture, your brain stops filling the gaps with “they have it easy” and comes back to your road, with its real challenges and real wins. That is where progress lives.
Tiny script: if your brain says, “they are miles ahead,” reply, “I am building steadily, day by day.” Say it out loud. Your nervous system needs to hear you.
Change your perspective
You see someone’s packed speaking calendar or a big launch and you feel that sting. Why is that not me. Shouldn’t I be further along by now. Totally human. Those feelings can be fuel if you let them, like putting a rocket under your focus, not your panic.
Here’s an example: your mate lands a podcast tour. Instead of spiralling, you notice what you admire. Clear topic. Consistent pitching. Helpful stories. You decide to pitch three shows that actually serve your people, not every show under the sun. You give yourself a Friday deadline and you hit send, even if your voice shakes. Gold star. Have a Tim Tam.
Your move this week:
- Notice the feeling, then name what you admire. Reach, clarity, consistency, partnerships.
- Turn that into a small experiment. Three pitches. One collaboration. One live demo. Keep it sized for a real week.
- Capture one lesson you will apply next round. Put it where you plan, not where notes go to retire in the bottom drawer.
Why this helps: action replaces envy. A plan on paper switches your brain from catastrophising to building. You collect evidence that you can move, even when the feeling says sit.
Tiny script: when “I should be further along” shows up, say, “I am exactly where I am, and I am taking the next step today.” Then take it.
Define success on your terms
Let’s get personal. Success is not one size fits all. It is seasonal. It changes as your life changes. Seven figure launches and sold out tours look impressive, but they are not the only measure. For some, success is paying yourself well and knocking off by 3 so you can do school pick up. For others, it is deep work with fewer clients and Fridays off. All valid. No permission slip required — you are the principal here.
Do this with me now:
- Describe a great month for you. Hours worked, revenue, the kind of clients, how you want to feel at the end of the week. Write it in one paragraph, like you are telling a friend on a walk along the beach.
- Write your why. The honest one. The one that gets you a bit teary. Stick it where you will see it every morning.
- Choose three measures you control. Client results, repeat bookings, schedule flexibility, savings rate, creative output. Pick the ones that fit your life now.
Here’s an example: “This quarter, success for me is three client projects, $12k revenue, one day a week for content, and dinners at the table four nights a week.” Clear. You can plan for that. You can also say no to things that do not serve it. Very handy.
Why this helps: when your targets match your values and your season, you stop chasing someone else’s life. Your yes and your no get cleaner. That is where confidence grows.
Tiny script: when doubt says, “you should want more,” reply, “I want what fits my life, and I am building that.”
Make space for clarity
Your best ideas often arrive off the clock. In the shower. On a lap around the block. Stirring a risotto. That is not laziness. That is how brains work when they are not blasted with inputs. White space lets ideas surface — like remembering what you needed from the shops the second you leave the shops. Classic.
For example: you are stuck on a sales page. You take a 15 minute walk. Halfway down the street the headline lands. You record a voice memo, you come back, you finish the page in half the time. Magic, but also science.
Your move today:
- Take one short break away from screens. Walk, stretch, breathe, or sit in the sun for five minutes like a very content lizard.
- Keep a capture tool within reach. Notes app, pocket notebook, or a quick voice memo.
- When an idea pops up, park it, then come back later with fresh eyes and a calm body.
Why this helps: a calmer, unhurried brain is better at problem solving and creativity. You make cleaner calls when your nervous system is not fried.
Tiny script: when the urge to keep scrolling pops up, say, “I am giving my brain a view.” Then step outside. Tree, cloud, nosy magpie — any view will do.
Bring it back to what you control
You cannot manage someone else’s timeline, team or budget. You can manage your next step. Consistent, boring looking steps build very exciting results. Bricks in a wall, not fireworks every Friday. That is the quiet miracle of small, honest effort.
Your weekly reset, let us set it now:
- One clear goal for the week, written at the top of your planner.
- Three actions that move that goal forward. Put them on specific days and times.
- One small thing just for you that keeps your energy steady. A walk at lunch, phone off after 8, dinner at the table, swim on Saturday.
For example: goal, book two consults. Actions, email five warm leads Tuesday morning, post one case study Wednesday, ask for one referral Friday. Energy steady, phone off at 9 and bed by 10, swim on Saturday. Then repeat next week. That is momentum you can trust. Not flashy, just effective.
Why this helps: when you stack clear weeks you build evidence. Evidence beats doubt every time. Doubt is loud; evidence is louder. Your brain starts believing you. That is the shift you can feel.
Tiny script: when the comparison itch starts, say, “eyes on my lane,” and pick up the next action.
At the end of the day, the path to success is as unique as you are.
Comparing your journey to someone else’s is like comparing apples to oranges. It just doesn’t make sense.
Celebrate your progress, learn from your setbacks, and keep moving forward, guided by your own definition of success.
Remember, in the grand adventure of entrepreneurship, the most rewarding path is the one you carve out for yourself, step by step, with passion, perseverance, and a healthy dose of self-compassion.
Need Help Relaxing? You’re Not Alone…
Business owners complain all the time that they don’t have enough time in the day so how can they possibly relax and do something fun! This takes time away from the business, of course. But sometimes inspiration comes from that time away from the office, away from the successful brags of others in your circle.
If you need some self-care support that will actually help quiet your brain, grab a copy of my free Self-Care Planner for entrepreneurs. Inside you will find simple prompts and routines to help you switch off, recharge and feel more like yourself again.
